


Not Today

by mhunter10



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bipolar Ian, Death, Grim Reapers, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kissing, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, mickey is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 22:29:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8419666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mhunter10/pseuds/mhunter10
Summary: Ian is just about to end it all when something strange happens that he can't ignore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ** tw suicide attempt/death

Ian stared down at the water below. He hadn’t realized just how far of a drop it was. Everyone had joked about one day throwing Frank off this very bridge, but something about it didn’t seem so funny now. Ian laughed at the irony, but swallowed it down hard when he finally got his hands up on the railing. He licked his lips, looking down at the waves crashing in the slight wind. There weren’t any rocks below since he was towards the middle, but it would still get the job done. He closed his eyes tight and breathed in the dirty sea air. Or was this a river? One of the lakes? He couldn’t think.

He’d read an article once about all the feet that washed up on the shores throughout the year from people hitting the water. Suddenly he got choked up, not holding back his tears as he cried. He gasped, wiping at his nose. He could feel his arms shaking as he tried to steady himself enough to get his legs over. His shoes barely fit on the ledge, knocking off pebbles and trash before him. He watched them disappear into the depths and couldn’t breathe. He gulped air and went through everything in his head: family, friends, teachers, school, random people, places. The list went on until he couldn’t stand it anymore.

It was either now or never. Or maybe later, who knew. He was going to be like this for the rest of his life, so why not cut it short?

His heart was racing as he prepared himself. He thought he would be more afraid at this moment, but it was hard to miss the beautiful view of the skyline. His city looked amazing from up here, it was almost a rush.

“Nice try,” he said, though. He took a last look at the lights and buildings and boats. He couldn’t see many cars or people but that was fine.

One foot left the concrete, hanging in midair. His fingers loosened. Then he heard it. A voice right in his ear. It could’ve been his imagination; a last ditch effort from his brain for survival. He’d read about that too, but he could feel this was not that. The voice froze him from within, keeping him from taking that final step. He looked around but there was no one, he’d made sure of it. This was just further proof he couldn’t trust his mind. He tried to loosen his grip again, but this time felt a hand on his left arm. When he turned to look at whoever was holding him to the bridge, there were blue eyes staring back at him.

“I know you,” Ian heard himself saying.

//////////////

Mickey was looking into the green eyes he’d been entranced by all day. He was holding onto their owner’s arm so tightly, he actually felt the strain in his muscles. He hadn’t felt anything in a long time, but his body hadn’t forgotten how to. The boy wad speaking to him with focused eyes. Mickey couldn’t hear a word until his foot was back on the ledge.

“I mean, I saw you earlier,” the boy with red hair corrected himself.

Mickey didn’t know what to say, even if he had the ability to talk. He couldn’t deny it either because he had gotten too close. He’d been seen; something against the rules. Ian had been on his way to school but he’d gotten distracted and almost walked into a busy intersection. Mickey had been too eager, stepped too far into the seeing world. Ian only stopped short of getting hit because he’d noticed him. Mickey had infringed on an entirely different department and he was sure he would be in trouble for it later. But he couldn’t think about that right now.

This was bad. He had to be visible in order to keep his hold on Ian, which meant anyone could see him. And anyone not meant to see him now would inevitably see him in a week. It was weird and fucked up and unfair, but there were consequences and Mickey didn’t want to live with them. He looked around quickly, making sure they were still alone. He looked back at Ian with pleading eyes once he knew it was safe. He needed to act fast.

“Have you been following me?” Ian asked, somehow relaxed on the edge of death.

Again, if Mickey could talk he would be too embarrassed to admit he had been. Of course it was part of his job, but who was he kidding? The moment he found Ian, he couldn’t let him go through with it. He was tall and handsome, strong, loyal, a little goofy at times. And Mickey saw all this in a day. He was screwed. All he had to do was wait another second and it would’ve been business as usual. He hated the paperwork, but it was a living. That was the funniest part of all. He was fucking dead.

“Let me go,” Ian said quietly, looking back out over the water. There were fresh tears in his eyes. The wind blew his hair around. Mickey could see his fingers itching to let go. What the fuck was he meant to do? This was out of his jurisdiction and his league, but his hold remained.

Ian looked at him. He looked so sad; an outward appearance to match his insides. Mickey knew everything. It was protocol. But seeing it eat Ian alive all day while he acted like nothing was wrong, it was the worst. He’d gotten too good at it. No one bothered him about his mood anymore. He didn’t give them a reason to. And there were more important things, according to him. He could disappear and not be thought about for weeks.

It killed Mickey to see how little Ian thought of himself. It crushed him. He wished he wasn’t in so deep. Wished he knew how to help.

Ian reached for his hand, trying to pry his fingers away. It would be so easy to let him. Hell, he could just go invisible and let the kid think he’d finally gone too crazy to fix. Get someone else on the case, forget all about Ian fucking Gallagher and how much he was worth the consequences.

//////////////

“Please, please just let me,” Ian begged through his tears. He was shivering. The longer he stood there the colder it got, the closer to morning it got. He needed to do this now and this guy was stopping him. “You can leave. No one will even know you saw me, promise….just–”

Hands moved to his face and cupped it, caressing the wet streaks away. They pulled him in until he felt soft lips against his, pressing firmly. It felt cold and hot at the same time. Ian closed his eyes, hands sliding up to the ones holding him steady, keeping him planted in this world. The kiss went on and he wasn’t even out of breath. The voice was back in his head again. It was as clear as before.

“Not today, Ian.”

Ian nodded absently, too wrapped up in the way the guy’s mouth moved against his like he was talking. When they broke apart, he was somehow standing back on the sidewalk and away from the edge. He didn’t question it or how the other boy knew his name. He remembered glimpsing him earlier in the day because it had saved his life when he’d been too caught up in wanting to end it. He’d had a strange feeling then and it was back now. It felt like he was being tethered to the earth like a tent blowing precariously in a storm. Now that the storm was over, he just felt a little sturdier like he could stand up on his own and not crumble. He wondered who this guy was.

He wanted to say something, but he had no words. He’d just been bargaining to jump off a bridge a moment ago, but now felt like maybe he could go on if he just knew who had thought him worthy of saving without even knowing him. He didn’t know when he might feel the abyss again, and a lifeline would help keep his head above water.

“Who are you?”

//////////////

Mickey bit his lip, an old habit even though he didn’t have to keep back his words anymore.

Ian was looking at him like he never wanted to look away. Mickey couldn’t remember the last time anyone did that.

He wanted to tell Ian so bad how amazing he was, but all he could do was lean up and kiss him again. It felt like he was being electrocuted, which he’d heard stories of and even seen before.

He touched Ian’s face before pulling himself away. He had to. There was a car coming with flashing lights. Fuck the popo, honestly.

He looked back once more before going invisible. He would never forget about Ian Gallagher, the boy who lived.

//////////////

“You lost, son?” A cop asked out his window.

Ian squinted in the red-blue-red of the lights.

“No, sir. Just admiring our city,” Ian said, scanning the street for the mysterious man. He didn’t see anything.

“Well, keep it moving. It’s late,” the cop pulled away once Ian had nodded and began walking back home.

He turned around and thought he saw blue eyes following him.

He smiled.


End file.
